2 months of chemo down, 3 more to go! On to Paclitaxel!
Saying good bye to the Red Devil and Mr. Cyclophosphamide
It's official! I have finished my four rounds of Adriamycin and Cyclophsphaminde! This is something to celebrate. I am excited to never have to see the red syringes again! They are something straight out of the movie "Kill Bill" aren't they?
Starting next week I will have weekly treatments of Paclitaxel for three months. This medicine will be given a smaller dose. Hopefully that means that it will be easier for my body to tolerate and recover from. Through this cancer journey I have met other women going through treatment at the same time as me. A fewof them are also on Paclitaxel, so I have been able to learn from them about how the medicine is effecting their body. Some are having relatively mild side effects while others are experiencing all kinds of issues from skin issues to digestive issues. This transition to the new med feels like a mixed bag for me - I am not sure how I will react so I am nervous, but I am really looking forward to not having to deal with the side effects of Adriamycin and Cyclophsphaminde anymore.
Paclitaxel has many of the same side effects as the other two medicines, including hair loss. So we are going to continue cold capping. My hair is hanging in there - but I have lost a lot of it and if I don't style it strategically you can see the thinning. I don't look like Danny DeVito yet... but I don't feel like I can wear my hair down and pass for a normal person any more. I have heard that some people actually start to regrow their hair while on Paclitaxel and I am hoping this will happen for me too.
Another rude side effect of my cancer treatment has made itself known over the past couple of weeks - chemo-induced menopause. Awesome, right? Again and again I am astounded at the system-wide effects that this cancer treatment is having on me. It's possible that after chemo my body will bounce back out of menopause, but there is a better chance that this is my new normal. Especially if they want to put me on Tamoxifen which surpasses estrogen and progesterone production as a long term therapy. Then when they remove my ovaries to avoid ovarian cancer I'll shift into hard core surgical menopause. Because my cancer is hormone fueled, hormone replacement therapy is not an option for me
I feel like I am trading cancer for other negative, long term health issues and it feels really counterintuitive to me. It's now apparent to me that I've had the benefit of having my health restored to normal after medical issues up until now. I naively assumed that with treatment you always get back to "normal". Instead, I am grappling with the fact that I am looking at transitioning to a "new normal" instead of my old self. Hopefully that new normal will be relatively easy to manage and won't be as bad as I imagine it to be. But the potential negative effects are daunting and the potential severity of the side effects intimidate me.
Thank you again for the continued support, love, prayers, energy, and well wishes! I feel your love and cannot thank you enough for standing by us through this time. We hope you're all doing well and are looking forward to seeing you on the other side of this.
